PGP and other things

Yes, I have a 4095 bit key; no I have no clue how I managed that one. It’s a total wonder why people still think I’m competent at things.

Anyways, I now have PGP keys and use the blasted things. For a change, I’m mostly using a GUI interface, and it’s awesome. Check it out: Enigmail. It is, like, absurdly easy. Practically install-and-go.

(In absolutely unrelated, I love abusing hovertext, apparently.  Hover over things with dotted underlines for snark.)

Emacs M-x spook: Power lines Adriatic Infrastructure security Terror Abu Ghraib Plume Becker Belknap doctrine WHO U.S. Consulate Decapitated Trafficking Agent Montenegro



This is how I feel these days. Like as if my words aren’t coming to me the way that they should. I misspell things now; I didn’t used to misspell things nearly as much.

I might take a break from this blog. Until I get my words back.

I’m sorry,


Lithium Update

I appear to be one of the lucky group who’s ~side effect free from lithium. I’m on a fairly low does (900mg/day), but the only (only!) things that have been happening have roughly been:

  • If I let myself get dehydrated (shockingly easy, this is better phrased as “If I drink less than 1.5L of water a day”) I will get some combination of: lithium aftertaste, nausea, and mild headache. Not really much of a problem, since drinking water pretty much prevents this.
  • Hunger has been doing weird patterns; I’m either hungry all day, no matter how much (or little) I eat, or not hungry at all (which is my normal state, afaik). I’m doing worse at remembering to eat than I usually do, which isn’t particularly great. Not sure why this is a thing again, though.
  • My memory is ~useless. Go figure. It’s like my brain just gets stuck in places where it shouldn’t. I completely forgot my own phone number today at CVS and nearly told them my phone number was 617-253-…. (ie, an MIT phone number.) Oops. Then had to look my actual phone number up. I’ve been worse at spelling things correctly, worse at thinking, worse at remembering words in general. Slightly scary, actually. Possibly part of the reason why I haven’t been blogging lately; words don’t come to me the way they used too.

And as for how much it’s working…sort of. It takes the edges off, I’d say. Like if I was at 4sin(5t) earlier, I’m around 3sin(t) now. Better, not perfect, but to a point where I can manage the rest. It’s amusing because I’m now back to cycling slowly enough that you can see the cycles in my sleep again – ie they’re longer than a day.

That said, I’m….not really okay with staying on lithium forever; I’m twenty, so fairly young, so I’d rather explore, let’s say, medications that are less toxic to the kidneys long term. Managed to talk pdoc into letting me see if a switch to Lamictal works. Hopefully it does ūüėÄ


Man, I remember when unclutterer was more actual advice than product shrilling[1].

Now, I’m nowhere as neat or organized as I should be, especially considering the fact that I have sensory processing issues that get worse when the environment around me is chaotic. Like, I don’t mind if everything is dirty, but if Things.Are.Everywhere, I can’t work or think or, you know, clean up the clutter. Add in the periodic mood disorder that saps my energy bad enough that some days I’m lucky to make it out of bed, well….


Broken brains can be fun to deal with sometimes.

Anyways. It took me multiple tries to get to anywhere near “organized”, and frankly I’m not sure how long this period of organization is going to last, since it usually goes to shit as soon as the winter blues start.

I’ve had the most success following unfuckyourhabitat‘s idea of cleaning and decluttering for short periods of time each day, like doing the sink when my coffee’s brewing or wiping down the kitchen counters while cooking. Small, simple things, and avoid burnout.

I still don’t make my bed, though.

Tried FlyLady; her rules are sadly not for me. I mean, shoes indoors?¬†I barely wear them outside [2]! But some of what she does makes sense – wearing clothing that means “work” when you want to work, etc. I won’t give up my sweatpants [this is Massachusetts after all, and it’s cold in winter] but I do switch to nice jeans when I really need to get something done. I don’t know; this seems like a good system for some people; I can’t work with it.

I used to really love unclutterer; indeed, there’s still something about owning the minimal amount of things I need to survive that appeals to me. Even things like owning Kindle versions of books instead of real books so I’m not cursing myself as I move my entire 500+ book library every time I need to move, or paring down clothing until it fits into the boxes I have so¬† I don’t end up drowning in free t-shirts again. I don’t throw things out as often as I should, but over the last year or so I’ve pared down what I own significantly.

And they used to have some pretty good advice, too, it’s just now more product placement than it used to be.

There are nearly 600 emails in my inbox because I haven’t been up to dealing with email in like a week. Probably not a good thing. There are so many people I probably should get back to, including someone who might have wanted to offer me a job, like, two weeks ago.

And yet every time I look at my email, I just get so scared of it that I close it out, untouched.

There’s a saying I’m trying to get myself to accept, and that’s the simple fact that I can do anything if it’s just for a minute. Make a phone call, check my email, wash dishes, get my blood drawn, send my resume out.

Maybe tomorrow I can try to be a more productive human.

[1] Personal rule – you don’t need to buy any specific item to get organized, and anyone who says otherwise is selling something. [Return]

[2] And yes, I’ve been known to walk barefoot around Boston. [Return]