Child-free by-choice survey

1. Do you dislike children?

Not….really? I don’t know. I’d rather have the company of adults over the company of children, especially young children, and I’d rather be alone than have company at all, but frankly I don’t actively dislike children; I’d…just prefer to not be around them.

Also – little kids have a tendency to be noisy and chaotic, and I like to avoid noisy and chaotic people.

2. Why did you opt out of parenthood?

Oh. There’s quite a few reasons.

1) I’m bipolar and absolutely refuse to transmit this disorder to someone else. Bipolar disorder is fairly genetic; if I were to have a biological child, ze would have a fairly decent chance of inheriting a disease that has left me wanting to die for eight years.

2) I’m bipolar and absolutely refuse to get off medications. Because I tried that for eight years and let me tell you, for some people, there is no such thing as “managing your mental illness through lifestyle changes.” I worked out for 2.5 hours a day and ate super healthy. No go. Meditation – no go. Yoga? Nope. Getting lots of sunlight?

….I’m from Texas.

There’s effectively zero chance that I’ll ever be capable of managing this disease sans medication. And given that how delicate brain development is, I’d rather not risk more mutations/developmental defects than necessary.

3) I like to pretend I don’t have a female body. And this actually works pretty damn well most of the time. I really don’t need nine months of extra special gender dysphoria, thanks. One week a month is bad enough.

4) I don’t want to be a parent. Frankly, this should be reason enough.

3. Do you think your childhood experiences and/or your parents actions influenced your decision?


Frankly, I think I’d prefer the world where I got aborted and my parents got a divorce, honestly. Not this whole lets-stay-together-and-be-miserable-for-the-kid thing.

4. What is the most common reaction/comment you get when people find out you’re Child-Free?

“But you’d be such a good parent/don’t you volunteer with that teaching group?”

No I won’t be, and I’m a web developer/systems administrator for said teaching group. Also. Erm. I’m good with middle-school/high-school kids. Elementary school aged or earlier? nope nope nope.

5. Do you have any Child-free friends or relatives?

As far as I know, none of my relatives are childfree. Quite a few of my friends are.

6. Do you think people are aware that parenthood is a choice?

I…think people are becoming more aware of that, and I think this is a good thing.

7. How do you feel/react when your loved ones announce they’re expecting?

Glad for them? *shrug* I mean, if they want a kid, and they’re happy about it, there’s no reason for me to not be happy about it, if you get what I mean.

8. What is the most ridiculous Bingo you’ve ever received?

….not sure what this means, but any of variant of “you’ll change your mind when you get older”

9. Are you worried you might one day regret your decision?


10. (For women) Don’t you want to experience being pregnant?

Since I have a (afaik) functional uterus, I’m going to answer this question, despite the fact that I’m not a woman.

No. Definitely not. Arg. Even thinking of it makes me squeamish.

11. Is your current partner Childfree as well?

Don’t have a current partner – any future partners will either have to accept that I’m not raising a kid or be childfree themselves.

12. Is it possible to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship without children?

Yes. Some people do it.

13. Define parenthood in one word


14. Do you think you would be a good parent? Why/Why Not?

No. See above.

15. Do you have pets? Do you think you transfer the nurturing and love intended for a child unto your pet(s)?

No. And I’m not quite sure why people think I’m capable of being nurturing or capable of love, since all evidence I have seems to point in the other direction.

16. Which Child-free stereotype do you not fit?

Um. I don’t know the child-free stereotypes, but I don’t currently have fucktons of cash?

17. Is it hard to find a Child-free partner?

Fuck if I know. I’m not looking for a partner.

18. Which label do you prefer? Child-Free or Childless?

Child-free. Childless is a state. Child-free is a state of mind.

19. Do you actively encourage the people around you to think about their reproductive CHOICES?

I definitely try to. I don’t know, I feel like it’s unnecessary to preach it all the time, but quietly living my life seems to get people to think about it.

20. Are you worried about who will take care of you when you’re old?

I will? And if I can’t, well, time for me to die 😀

I’m actually fairly serious about this; I can’t imagine a life dependent on other people to take care of m, and I would prefer my family save their resources for future generations instead of taking care of me when I’m old and invalid.

As I’ve always said, the day I retire will be the day I die.

21. What is the best part about being Child-Free?

All the time I can use for other things.

I want to clarify: I want to keep my genes out of the gene pool but don’t care about what other people do with their genes.

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